“Whosoever survives the test must tell his story. This is his duty.” -Elie Wiesel

Losing my baby broke me open in such a way that I am totally exposed and raw. I almost instantly began openly and publicly sharing my experience of birthing, losing, and grieving Harvey on Facebook with an honesty and vulnerability I could have never imagined I would share. What once would have been confined to my personal journal, is now out there for the world to see. I have lost my censor, my concern of how this will affect others, or what they might think of me. This is my release valve: how I get some of this unbearable grief out of me, if only just for a few moments of relief. It is heavy and hard and impossible and I am living it and writing it down. Maybe it will speak to you.

What you will find here is unedited, messy, sometimes not even spell-checked documentation of this devastating and life transforming experience. Someday, it will be an edited, thoroughly combed through and more precisely worded book but for now it is raw and new and as is.