Sometimes it just looks over my shoulder. Follows behind me everywhere I go. A stalker, a shadow, a prison guard.

Sometimes it stays beside me. Takes my arm and leads me through the day. Its constant pull making my eyelids heavy, my feet drag, my mind absent.

Sometimes it overwhelms me. Wrestles me to the ground, it’s feeble opponent. The fight is rigged. We are unmatched. But like the bully, the power-hungry, the privledged, it cares not and I am undone.

Sometimes I can cradle it in my hands. I can hold it close to me and go through the motions. Smiling through like there is a fullness where it resides and not a broken, heavy mass. These are my best days.

It will sometimes start to trail behind me. Keep its distance as its prey regains its strength. Not out of mercy but necessity. It and its kin are only as strong as their target is weak. No matter how far behind me it trails, when I stumble, it will catch up. For years and years to come. My constant companion.

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